Well, here’s an admission – despite being an upbeat and positive person most of the time, I do, on occasion, still get frustrated and fed up with the challenges that life throws at me. When this happens, I will allow myself – give myself permission, if you like – to have 24-48 hours to wallow in self-pity if necessary. And then I give my ass a kick back into touch!!
It’s important to acknowledge our feelings rather than bottle them up, but they don’t need to define us either, as we aren’t our behaviour and we can change when we know what the triggers are and put strategies into place, hence the 24-48 hour wallow, to deal with being human!
On a personal level, I’ve been educating myself in so many ways to evolve, rather than change the person I am, and let my authentic self come to the fore.
I’ve experienced reiki and trained to level 2; I’ve had EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, aka ‘tapping’) to release blocked energy; I’ve also experienced shamanic healing and sweat lodges, read numerous books, qualified as a coach (I have a Level 5 in performance coaching) and as a trainer to developing coaches, undertaken training with Richard Bandler and Paul McKenna, listened to various speakers, and attended numerous workshops. The list goes on – in short, I love to learn and develop myself! I have experienced the ups and downs of life – marriage, divorce, single parenting, dating, new relationships, setting up businesses and employing staff … another long list, but I will stop here! And wow, I’ve learned a lot along the way in how to handle and deal with all that is thrown at me.
One of the most powerful tools, in my opinion, is to believe that everything is working out wonderfully. I know that is hard to bear during periods of adversity, however, the learning from the challenges you face makes you stronger.
The reframing of the words we use when speaking and thinking and writing also has a HUGE impact on the self. Whenever a negative phrase or word pops into your head, try finding one that is more positive instead.
To share an example, my son is upbeat, always on the go, energetic, and full of questions (he has been like this since he was young!) I used to use words like ‘drama queen’, ‘exhausting’ and ‘hard work’ to describe him. This made living with him so much harder and we were often at loggerheads. As soon as I changed the words I used to describe him, it was like a weight had magically lifted and life became easier!
It’s all about taking small steps to change.
To bring everything bang up-to-date, within my recruitment business / agency, I’ve been facing tough times in relation to candidate flow which is, in my opinion, being impacted by the indecision of Brexit, GDPR last year and the onslaught of social media platforms and job boards creating more and more traffic to mobiles. As such, it’s becoming a candidate-driven market and there are fewer candidates available, and those who are available are starting to dictate terms to employers.
Change is afoot. It makes it hard for employers right now to find their ‘ideal’ candidate and from an agency perspective, it makes it even harder to supply the talent.
We must start looking at the patterns and what measures we can take to do what we can to change.
When we reframe all these frustrating challenges, opportunities to review what we are doing and change tack appear!
Top tips
Acknowledge your feelings and emotions and give them space to emerge – who doesn’t love a good cry when the going gets tough?! It’s a great way to release emotions.
Know what triggers emotions and put measures in place to kick your own ass back into touch in a re-energised manner
Personal development is empowering and liberating, and helps you grow and develop
Reframe, reframe, reframe!
Small changes make the biggest difference
